Ultimate Jokes
Jokes
Jhoot Pakdne Bali Machine
Ek dost dusre dost se: “Kya, tumne jhoot pakarne wali machine dekhi hai?
Doosra dost: Deki nahi mere paas mein hai! Are maine to usse shadi ki hai.”
Bahar ka mat khana
Ek bar ek ladka samosa ke bich ke aalu ko kha raha tha aur bahar ke hisse ko phek raha tha.
Dushra dost usse poochta hai ke tum samose ke sirf aalu ko kyun kha rahe hoo?
Pehla: Doctor ne mujhe bahar ke chejo ko khane se mana kiya hai.
Why running naked
Anil road par nanga bhag raha tha.
Sunil ne usse rok kar poocha: Arre bhai esa kyu kar rahe ho, kyu nanga bhag rahe ho, tumhe sharam nahi aati?
Anil: Kyu ki aaj tum jaldi ghar aagaye, Issi liye.
Opener
Question: Dhoni asks Rohit to bring a Pepsi. Rohit brings the bottle, but takes it directly to Shewag.
Why?
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Ans: Because Shewag is an opener.
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Ans: Because Shewag is an opener.
Itne… Pyaar se?
Sardar talking on cell.
2nd Sardar : Kis se baat kar raho ho.
1st Sardar : Biwi se…
2nd Sardar : Kis se baat kar raho ho.
1st Sardar : Biwi se…
Auraton ko kyon ghoorte ho??
Apple, chup chaap baithe banana se kehta hai tu chup kyu hai?
Aur phir shadu ghusse me bole,
Lady Doctor: Tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade ho kar auraton ko kyon ghoorte ho?
Santa: Ji, aap hi ne bahar likha hai: Auraton ko dekhne ka samay 9am-11am .
Murgha boyfriend
Ek larka apni girlfriend se milne gaya, kuch baat ke baad uski girlfirend chaye(tea) banane ke liye kitchen chali gayi.
Girlfriend ka mobile sofay pe dekh kar larky ne socha ke chalo dekhte hai mera number iss ne kis naam se save kya hai?
Dear, sweetu ya jaanu.
Jab usne misscall di toh screen pe likh raha tha “Murgha No.5? Calling”.
colony ka bhikari
Bhikhari: Saab 1 rupaya de do.
Saheb: Kal aana. Kal
Bhikhari: Saala is kal-kal ke chakkar mein is colony mein mere lakhon rupaye fase huye hain.
Ek gharwali aur….
Pandit : Tumhare jeevan mein 6 ladkiya aayengi.
Thambu : Wow, kya baat hai.
Pandit: Zyada khush honey ki baat nahi hai. Ek gharwali aur 5 betiya hai..
How fruits are eaten
Ek baar 3 fruits mein aapas mein baatcheet hoti hai.
Apple: Mujhe toh sab dho ke aur kaat ke khaate hai.
Amrood: Tujhe kya mujhe bhi sab dho ke aur kaat ke khate hai.
Apple, chup chaap baithe banana se kehta hai tu chup kyu hai?
Banana : “Main kya kahu mujhe toh batate hue bhi saram aati hai, mujheh to sab lognanga karke khate hai.”
Ka karat ho?
Rabri : Ka karat ho?
Laalu : Ek dost ko chitthi likhat hu!
Laalu : Ek dost ko chitthi likhat hu!
Rabri : Par tuhar likhna to aawe nahi.
Laalu : Vo sasura bhi to padhna nahi jaanat.
Laalu : Vo sasura bhi to padhna nahi jaanat.
Pathan on cycle
Ek pathan Cycle chalate aur gungunate howe kahin ja raha tha rastae mein ek aurat se takra betha.
Aurat chilla kar boli, “Break nahi maar sakte they kya ???”
Pathan herat se… “Pora cycle mar deya abhi break mar kar kia faida.”
Tumko bewaqoof banaya
Pathan ko dost ne khanay pe bulaya.
Pathan jab dost ke ghar aaya toh ghar pe tala laga tha,
Aur likha tha maine bewaqoof banaya tumko.
Pathan jab dost ke ghar aaya toh ghar pe tala laga tha,
Aur likha tha maine bewaqoof banaya tumko.
Pathan ne Hoshiyari dikhai or niche likh diya,
“Main toh aaya hi nahi tha”
“Main toh aaya hi nahi tha”
Aey Bhai!!!
Munna : Abay Circuit! Jaa baajo walay ghar say Doctor ko bula k laa, meri tabiat kharab ho reli hai.
Circuit : Aey Bhai!!! aap to khud doctor ho.
Munna : Bolay to meri fees bahut zyada hai.
Munna : Bolay to meri fees bahut zyada hai.
Main sadhu kyu banta
Ek admi sadhu se bola,
Meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upaya batayien na shadu ji…
Aur phir shadu ghusse me bole,
Abe saale upaya hota to main sadhu kyu banta.
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How To Set This Picture As Your Profile Cover? Right click on the image above. ‘Save Image As’ on your computer. Go to your Face... -
How To Set This Picture As Your Profile Cover? Right click on the image above. ‘Save Image As’ on your computer. Go to your Faceb... -
How To Set This Picture As Your Profile Cover? Right click on the image above. ‘Save Image As’ on your computer. Go to your Face... -
How To Set This Picture As Your Profile Cover? Right click on the image above. ‘Save Image As’ on your computer. Go to your Faceb... -
How To Set This Picture As Your Profile Cover? Right click on the image above. ‘Save Image As’ on your computer. Go to your Face... -
How To Set This Picture As Your Profile Cover? Right click on the image above. ‘Save Image As’ on your computer. Go to your Face... -
How To Set This Picture As Your Profile Cover? Right click on the image above. ‘Save Image As’ on your computer. Go to your Face...
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How To Set This Picture As Your Profile Cover? Right click on the image above. ‘Save Image As’ on your computer. Go to your Faceb...
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How To Set This Picture As Your Profile Cover? Right click on the image above. ‘Save Image As’ on your computer. Go to your Face...
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How To Set This Picture As Your Profile Cover? Right click on the image above. ‘Save Image As’ on your computer. Go to your Faceb...
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How To Set This Picture As Your Profile Cover? Right click on the image above. ‘Save Image As’ on your computer. Go to your Face...
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How To Set This Picture As Your Profile Cover? Right click on the image above. ‘Save Image As’ on your computer. Go to your Face...
